


stronger

by mekii



Category: UP10TION, X1 (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Wooseok-centric
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-06
Updated: 2019-12-06
Packaged: 2021-01-30 23:55:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,603
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21436777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mekii/pseuds/mekii
Summary: He’s tired of hiding under his blanket. It’s useless and so, so lonely. He’d rather get out and throw his pillows at the monster he’s hiding from.(Wooseok's anger is bulletproof. Fuck everyone who hurt his boys.)
Relationships: Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun & Han Seungwoo, Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun & Kim Wooseok | Wooshin, Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun/Han Seungwoo, Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun/Han Seungwoo/Kim Wooseok | Wooshin, Cho Seungyeon | Seungyoun/Kim Wooseok | Wooshin, Han Seungwoo & Cho Seungyoun & Kim Wooseok | Wooshin, Han Seungwoo & Kim Wooseok | Wooshin, Han Seungwoo/Kim Wooseok | Wooshin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 86





	stronger

**Author's Note:**

> i saw the airport videos and pics and they made me MAD. fuck everyone, from journalists to international twitter users who think what a fan did justifies hating the artists, who blamed these victims from things out of their control and sent hate to CHILDREN for things ADULTS did.
> 
> this is just a mess i wrote to evacuate what i felt when i saw these photos on my twitter timeline. it's not betaed, i didn't read it after writing it, it's probably not perfect, but i needed to do something and this oneshot happened. also, someone on twitter praised wooseok for being strong and "wooseok is a fragile and weak bottom who can't do anything without his top uwu" supremacists made a tweet (that got 2k likes) about how he's not strong because his astrological sign means he must have spent the night crying, so i decided wooseok's amazing strength through this scandal needed to be acknowledged and appreciated.
> 
> i'm not romanticizing what happened, mnet is trash, x1 shouldn't even have to face that hate in the first place, this oneshot isn't using this scandal to write something meant to be cute. i'm not saying it's what happened, it's fiction inspired by real events.
> 
> WARNING: this has mentions of panic attacks (it's not very detailed, don't worry) and blood because seungyoun cuts himself (BY ACCIDENT) after dropping a glass.

To Wooseok, no one is stronger than Seungwoo and Seungyoun. They’re the strongest, bravest people he knows. When Seungwoo accepts to be their leader despite temporarily losing Victon (and it hurts, Wooseok knows it hurts so fucking much) and does it perfectly even with his own struggles and fears, Wooseok tells himself Han Seungwoo wouldn’t go on hiatus for a year because of The Scandal if it happened to him. When Seungyoun reacts to hate comments by closing the page or scrolling down with a smile that he keeps for what seems like forever, Wooseok wishes he could have been strong enough to ignore the comments.

Even with their own worries, Seungwoo leads X1 to its success and Seungyoun makes sure they follow their leader with a smile. Leading a group and cheering the members up while dealing with hate… Wooseok wishes he could be like them.

Then, the impossible happens, the unbreakable breaks.

The rigged voting news hit them like bricks. They’re still trying to get used to the few hate comments about it, none of them is ready for the articles, the accusations, the rumors. However, Wooseok believes in X1: with their pillars, nothing too bad will happen to them.

Seungwoo and Seungyoun comfort the kids, act with a confidence that leads to their own. The hyungs say it’ll be fine, why wouldn’t it be? Wooseok does his best to help, of course, but he can’t give them hope like their pillars can. A little voice inside of him says he’s a hyung too, barely younger than Seungyoun, he should be as strong and helpful as him. He does his best to ignore it.

Still, the scandal and the hate it brings hurt him more than he’d like to admit and he cries under his blanket, hoping the kids won’t hear him.

“Wooseok? Can we talk?”

Wooseok doesn’t notice how shaky Seungwoo’s voice is. He gets up, wrapped in his blanket, and opens the door, keeping his eyes on the floor. Seungwoo’s widen when he sees the other in tears and he quickly wipes his.

“Wooseokie, are you okay?”

“No, hyung. Can we cuddle?”

He can almost hear Seungwoo’s heart breaking because of how small his voice is, how defeated he looks. He doesn’t need a mirror to know he looks pathetic right now.

“Yes, of course, anything to make you feel better.”

They cuddle in Wooseok’s bed until the youngest falls asleep. He never asks what Seungwoo wanted to talk about, never sees the other’s red eyes and wet cheeks.

The next time it happens, it’s Seungyoun who finds him, completely under his blanket like it’ll hide him from the world and all the hate in it. He doesn’t need to ask for the other to cuddle him. Again, he’s too sad to notice his friend doesn’t really feel better than him, misses how Seungyoun insists to be the big spoon and buries his head in his pillow to hide his tears.

He realizes how blind he is the night before they leave for Bangkok. All this stress gives him insomnia and he’s pretty sure he’s the only one still not sleeping when he hears something that sounds like something breaking. Of course, his first thought is “what if one of the kids hurt himself” and he almost trips in his hurry to leave his bed and his room.

Someone is hurt, but it’s not a kid. Seungyoun is kneeling in front of a puddle of water, his shaky hands trying to take the glass shreds that used to be a glass. Wooseok wants to stop him, but he can’t move. Seungyoun, X1’s sunshine, their mood maker, the one who makes them smile even when they’re stressed, is breaking down at least as much as them. It shouldn’t be surprising: he’s human. Like them. He can be hurt too. Wooseok feels so stupid.

Seungwoo gets to him before he does, taking Seungyoun’s hands in his. His voice is soft, comforting, but not as strong as it usually is. They’re hurting and Wooseok isn’t helping them.

He’s tired of hiding under his blanket. It’s useless and so, so lonely. He’d rather get out and throw his pillows at the monster he’s hiding from.

“Hyung.”

“He’s fine, Wooseokie, go back to bed.”

Wooseok shakes his head and gets the milk, some hot cocoa powder and probably way too many marshmallows. Time to attempt to fix the not so unbreakable.

After their midnight drink, they all go to Wooseok’s bed. It’s too small for them, Seungyoun is on Seungwoo more than he’s on the bed, but it’s fine. His friends are with him, where he can see them and watch over them.

“I’m sorry for not noticing it earlier, but why didn’t you tell me? Why didn’t you come to me?”

Seungyoun shifts, laying a bit more on his arm. He’s heavy, but Wooseok doesn’t complain. His arm will survive.

“I tried, but you were really upset and I didn’t want to make it worse…”

Seungwoo doesn’t even need to talk for Wooseok to guess it’s what happened with him too. It’s wrong, so wrong. They don’t have to constantly hide their feelings just because he has them too.

He doesn’t feel like scolding them, so it’ll have to wait. Whatever. They’re sad and cuddling.

“If something like this happens again, talk to me. I don’t care if I’m sad. We’ll be sad together.”

Seungwoo nods. Seungyoun is already sleeping.

Wooseok wakes up when Seungwoo gets up and gently put Seungyoun back on the bed. The thought of the other boy falling in his sleep should make Wooseok laugh, but he can’t even smile.

“You don’t have to get up now.”

He nods, turns around and wraps his arms around Seungyoun. It’s finally his turn to be the big spoon.

Cuddling with Seungyoun is useful against sadness, but not against anger. When he gets in the van, he’s _mad_. He won’t be X1’s permanent shield, but for today, he can take that burden away from Seungwoo and Seungyoun.

“Stay behind,” he tells them when the car starts. “I’ll take your place. You need to rest and someone has to watch the kids from the back anyway.”

Seungwoo frowns and Wooseok already knows what he’s about to say. “But these comments are against you too, Wooseokie, it’d be selfish to hide behind you.”

“That’s the thing, hyung. These comments are against all of us, it’s my business as much as it’s yours. You’re the leader and older than all of us, but why does it matter? You already have to worry about Dohyon eating his vegetables, Yohan waking up on time, our future as a group, everything. You have the right to rest sometimes. You deserve to be selfish.”

The kids stay quiet. They know better than to argue with an angry Wooseok and it’s not like they don’t share his thoughts. He can feel Dongpyo’s eyes on him.

“You don’t have to pretend to be okay, we know you cried last night. It’s fine, we can do this. Seungwoo-hyung isn’t alone, I’m with him.”

He turns towards Seungyoun and sends him a _Look_, one that makes it clear he better keep his mouth shut and accept to stay behind. Seungyoun does exactly that.

“I’m not pretending I’m fine. I’m not, Younie, and I know that. I also know it’s useless to deny it. It doesn’t make me any less angry. I’m hurt and mad because they’re hurting all of us for things out of our control and it’s too unfair. Fuck them.”

No one scolds him for cursing. Good. He’s not sure he’ll be able to stop himself from screaming a bunch of ugly words at the journalists if he doesn’t let them leave this mouth now.

But there’s one thing he still needs to say, because he knows Seungwoo and Seungyoun are as worried for him as he’s worried for them. They shouldn’t. He’s not fine, but he got this.

“I’m not acting like I’m not hurt, I’m showing them I’m mad. Let’s forget about the future for a moment. We’ll walk through that airport and we’ll get in our plane. That’s it. That’s all we should think about for now. Let’s worry about other things later. There’s nothing we can do anyway.”

He looks at Seungwoo. Their leader looks so lost, so small, Wooseok wants to fight and scream and hurt everyone who hurt his friend.

“There’s nothing you can do, hyung. Don’t blame yourself. You did nothing wrong. We did nothing wrong.”

When X1 arrives, Kim Wooseok leads them, keeping his head high because they did nothing wrong. As they walk through the crowd, he looks every journalist in the eyes and the fire in them sends them the _fuck you for blaming children for things adults did_ he’s not allowed to say out loud. Yes, he cried and will cry again because it hurts (so fucking much), but that doesn’t change anything. He’s not pretending he’s okay, he’s showing he’s mad and does _not_ feel guilty or ashamed.

Fuck journalists who decided finding a target was more important than writing about the real culprit.

(everything is blurry)

Fuck the adults who had no problem sacrificing children who trusted them.

(he finally leaves the crowd behind)

Fuck everyone who hurt him.

(he’s sitting in the plane)

Fuck everyone who hurt his boys.

(how did he get there)

Fuck them.

(fuck them fuck them fuck them)

Fuck.

(he’s crying)

In the middle of this mess, Seungyoun’s hand finds his and he remembers.

(he’s not alone, and they’ll get through this together)

**Author's Note:**

> i'm mad and sad and i feel so fucking useless because they're all hurting and we can't do anything and yeah that's probably not a good mix. sorry for this mess. oneits/wizones, please don't lose hope.
> 
> twitter: mekimingyu  
curiouscat: mekimingyu


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